Connectivity

Connecting with people is one of the hardest parts of helping people change how they do things. At least, it is for me.

I've identified three major reasons why you might be having trouble making a connection.

• They don't understand something.
• They fear something.
• They don't feel like they have power over something.

I'm sure there are more but these easily cover the majority of the resistance I meet. All three cases demand, for me, the same approach. Try to turn it around and make yourself the person who can help the person you are trying to help the way that they perceive help.

If they don't understand something, explore it with them. If they are afraid of something, face it with them. If they feel powerless over something, help them reconcile that feeling either by creating power or banishing responsibility.

Helping someone with the problem that they can see makes you their friend. Do it a few times and some of them will start to come to you to help them find the problems you can't see.